Peeping Kyle, Dick, and Wally
by MGD
Summary: Kyle and Wally make Plastic Man's dream come true. Just not for Plas. The plot will seem out of character for most characters. It's meant to make you laugh, so don't take it too seriously.
1. Chapter 1

Characters are property of DC, not mine.

Peeping Kyle, Dick, and Wally

"Who was the ringleader?" he posed the question a second time to the cowering superheroes in front of him. The growl in his voice drained the few remaining ounces of blood from their faces. Kyle mistakenly looked up into his glare. Villains the like of Mr. Freeze or Killer Frost would have admired the results. Green Lantern became an ice fixture under that glare.

Wally was more fortunate. Growing up with the Titans had taught him _NEVER _to look up when he used that tone. He gulped and murmured, "Dick."

Their integrator reached towards his ear and clicked on his communicator. "Batman to Nightwing," he requested in a remarkable calm tone. He waited for a response from his protégé. Then, in a venomous tone, he growled, "Watchtower-conference room-_NOW_."

Fifteen minutes later, Nightwing walked into the room with a bewildered look on his face and assumed a seat next to his childhood friend. Hoping to find some reason why Batman wanted to kill him in his friend's face, Dick glanced over at Wally. When Wally refused to look at him, Dick suppressed his own gulp. He received no help from the Lantern ice sculpture. Releasing a deep breathe, he turned to Bruce and started rambling, "I swear I have no idea why I am here. Whatever they did, I didn't encourage or take part in it."

Wally blurted out, "It was your idea!" Batman burned a hole in his son's forehead staring him down.

"Okay, Bruce. You are going to have to be more specific. I did a lot of stupid things in the Titans." Bruce's glower moved to Wally, who still refused to look up. He explained in a voice barely above a whisper, "It wasn't when we were in the Titans. It was about six months ago after Kyle and I screwed up field orders. Batman kicked us off field duty and reduced us to monitor duty for a month."

Dick picked up the story, "I remember you came to me to see if I could get him to lighten up on your punishment. Diana and Zee were hurt on the mission. Diana was unconscious for two days. I believe that I laughed in your faces and told you that you were nuts especially after what happened to the women. Then, I told you the only way to reduce your punishment was to make Batman incredibly happy or distract him for the next month. Both are impossible unless. . .MY GOD! YOU DIDNT!" Dick wiped his head around and pleaded with Bruce, "It was meant as a joke, not a suggestion. I had no idea that they would even. I swear that I would never!" His words were becoming more mangled together as he went on. Finally, he mumbled, "I'm sorry, sir."

"This is how things are going to play out." Batman gritted through his teeth, "You two are on suspension until I say that you may return to duty. You should be kicked out the league, but that would require the vote of a bunch of noisy bastards that don't need to know what you did. Raynor contact the Guardians. Tell them to send Stewart back here for awhile. A few galaxies of distance will probably help you right now. West, you're pulling eight hour monitor duty. No breaks, no food, no drinks, no gaming, no blogging, no television, and no complaints. We're done here. I suggest that you two clear out and fast. Nightwing, follow me. One more thing. If O' Brien hears a word of this, I'll let Diana handle you alone. Then, I'll fix the mess to look like an accident." He whirled around and stormed out of the room. Dick followed sheepishly behind like a lamb making his way to the altar.

Dick caught up to the charging form of his mentor heading down the halls of the watchtower. He finally worked up the courage to inquire, "Don't get more upset, but why did you go so light them? You used to put us through training sessions that would have made Slade proud whenever we messed up."

"Who says I did. I figured Linda and Donna will inflict more damage than I ever could." Bruce challenged back the satisfaction spilled into his suddenly calm voice.


	2. Chapter 2

"So each one of us has to face the wrath of a woman

"So each one of us has to face the wrath of a woman. This almost seems like a walk on a high wire compared to what those two face. I know that Diana is going to give some speech that will make me feel two inches tall, but at least I'll walk away with all my limbs attached" Dick surmised as they headed towards the residence section of the watchtower.

Bruce gritted his teeth at the reply. Dick learned to walk on high wires. No way was he getting off that easy. He responded, "Think so, huh? You should know that Alfred and Barbara are also aware of the situation."

"Alfred knows?" Dick said as a look of pure horror formed on his face, "Babs will just yell or act like a typical female but Alfred. I'm a dead man walking. Oh shit. Diana's royalty."

"He said that he'll be waiting in the kitchen when you're done here. He likes Diana. Prepare yourself," Bruce instructed silently pushing back a shudder. Batman was scary, but a pissed off British butler was enough to send even him flying in the opposite direction. Alfred took royalty very, _very _seriously.

Bruce chimed Diana's room when they came to her door. "Coming," a voice called from behind the steel sliding door. The Amazon appeared in all her glory. Actually, she was more glorious than usual. Her dark hair was twisted up and held by a black clip. Her body was covered by just a little more fabric than usual. Her uniform had been kicked into a corner. Diana had just taken a shower and stood at the door in nothing more than a white fluffy towel. Most men would have dropped their heads and mouths and glare at her cleavage with their tongues hanging out. The two men in her doorway did neither. In fact, they stood still as gargoyles with glowing white eyes. She sighed, "Batman. Nightwing. Is there something I can help you with?" Her mind chorused, "Say no and go away. I just spend all day hacking up beasts crawling up from Hades. I don't want to spend the night beating up thugs when I finally feel clean again."

"Actually, Princess, We're here to help you with something. May we come in for a moment?" Batman asked with such politeness that Diana stood back dumbfounded by his tone. The two men walked in silent as ghosts as the door slid shut behind them. "Diana, there is a situation that has arose involving the security monitors in your room. I'll attend to the technical issues. Nightwing will explain the situation," Batman answered the inquiring look on her face.

Diana sat down on the settee positioned at the end of her bed and motioned for Nightwing to take the seat in one of the recliners across from her. He slumped into the chair and stared at the floor. In all her years, she rarely saw Bruce or any of his clan look down to avoid her line of sight. Normally, they were the ones that instilled confidence in their teammates with their intense looks. Why was Dick hanging his head like he used to at twelve years old when the Titans were in some kind of trouble? A smile twitched at the corners of Diana's mouth. She remembered how Donna's male counterparts would all hang their heads when confronted by their male mentors, but Donna would always have her head held high with a smile plastered across her face. Then, fear creep into Diana's expression fearing for the safety of her sister. "Dick, is everything alright? I mean Donna is okay, right?" she questioned him.

Dick shot his head up at the mention of Donna's name. "Yes. Last time I saw her everything was great. You don't sense something, do you? She's fine. You can feel that she is okay?" he spouted back in an uneasy tone.

Diana calmed her nerves and looked inward. The soft jovial spot in her being, the part of her soul that became her sister, was beaming as happy as ever and incredibly mischievously at the moment. "She feels happy. It seems that she is preparing for some kind of hunt. Do you have any idea what she is planning on going after?" she asked the youth in front of her as his spine tensed after hearing her description of Donna.

"I can't tell you what she has planned, but I can explain why and who. I can also explain what he is doing," he stated, finally, gathering the courage to look the Amazon in the eye. He also pointed in the direction towards her bed. Diana shifted slightly to her left to catch a glimpse of Batman. The sight that she saw caused her to swing the entire upper half of her body around to get a better look. It was definitely Batman taking off his boots and climbing onto her bed in his bare feet. He was scanning her walls with one of his suspicious little devices.

"Your feet had better be clean," she growled at him. He just continued to scan the wall at the head of her bed. She turned back to Dick when he pulled a blow torch from his belt. "Why is he destroying the wall above my bed?" she pleaded for an explanation.

Dick gulped and attempted to explain the situation, "Do you remember that mission a few months back where you were knocked unconscious for a couple days?"

"No," she replied with a puzzled expression, "I was unconscious for two days due to a new healing serum that J'onn was testing. It didn't agree with the natural healing powers I possess. J'onn kept me unconscious while he ran tests to see if I would be adversely affected in the future. But does this have to do with the monitoring systems in my room?"

"Nothing directly," Dick steeled his resolve to explain despite his fears of how Diana would react. Don't kill the messenger kept replaying in his mind. He continued, "Wally and Kyle were placed on suspension for their . . . inability to follow orders on that mission. They came to me to see if I could help soften the restrictions that Batman placed on them after the mission. I told them that nothing short of world peace and hell freezing order could change the result unless . . ." His words were cut off as his mouth refused to form the last of the admission.

"Unless the two idiots could find someway to distract me," Batman growled from behind Diana ending the suffering of his son, "It looks like Lantern routed the feed from the security cameras in your room and looped it into the satellite feed that connects to the computers in the Cave. I disconnected the feed and rebooted the cameras to run on normal parameters. They took one of Nightwing's jokes a little too literally." He stepped down from her bed slipping his tools back into his utility belt. Picking up his boots, he sat down in the other recliner preparing to put back on his boots.

A flare of anger flashed in her eyes, but Diana managed to maintain her composure. She wanted to understand why two men that she trusted with her life would take such liberties with her body. "So, they recorded all the activities I do in my quarters and feed it to your computer to get out of restrictions you placed on them for not following your orders on a mission," she summarized glaring at Bruce.

"The situation has been dealt with. The two men have been put on suspension effectively immediately, and two fellow associates will discuss their repercussions of their actions with them. If or when you feel comfortable allowing them back, they will be taken off the inactive roster and placed back on duty. In the meantime, Kyle is recalling Steward to fulfill his duties, and West is filling in monitor duty shifts to fill in for their absences in the duty rotation. Let me know how you feel about their actions in a few days. If you will excuse us, we have appointments in Gotham," Bruce listed how he had fixed the situation.

"Hold on a minute. Dick is here because he made a joke," Diana queried under an arched eyebrow.

"Yes. I figured that you would handle the explanation better if he explained it instead of West or Raynor," Bruce elucidated.

Internally, she was beginning to seethe. How dare they? Why would they? Determined to understand the audacity of her teammates, Diana turned away from Bruce and directed her line of questioning towards Dick, "What did Kyle and Wally do wrong on the mission?"

"They responded to another emergency when they were called in to help on some invasion force," Dick answered with amazing ease. His eyes flashed when he realized the Princess had placed her golden lasso around his wrist. He realized that it helped him say the words so he allowed it to stay. He would give anything to get out of this room without explaining why he would suggest recording Diana.

"What emergency did they respond to?"

"They stopped to assist fire fighters with an apartment fire. They pulled out five civilians and put out the blaze before proceeding to the invasion emergency." Diana shot an aggravated look towards Bruce when she learned what Kyle and Wally had been doing.

"What happened that would cause Batman to place them on restrictive duty?"

"While they were attending the fire, you deflected a hit from one of the invader. The hit threw you back into a building. Zatanna moved to defend your position when two separate parties hit both of you from opposite sides. Zatanna and you defended your left flank but took damage from the back."

"Would you have punished Wally and Kyle for stopping to rescue civilians from a fire?"

"I wouldn't have placed them on restrictive duty, but I would have reprimanded them for not following orders. They should have contacted the mission leader and gave an update on their status. Flash or Lantern are both capable to handle the fire situation alone. One could have stayed while the other proceeded to the JLA emergency. If I was the field leader, I would have given Flash permission to proceed and called Lantern in for cover," Nightwing concluded his assessment of the situation shocking Diana and Bruce with his knowledge of the situation, "What? You taught me to be thorough. When Wally and Kyle asked for my help, I read over the mission report. Any more questions? No. Great. So, please take this lasso off me before I start recalling things I don't want the mighty dark one here to know. I still have Alfred waiting for me at home."

Diana released him from the clutches of her lasso, finally, satisfied now that she understood the situation. She rose as Dick hurried to leave and turned, "Thanks for the information. Next time, don't let this one bully you into doing his dirty work. You had nothing to do with what those two did." Pausing, she hesitated and pleaded, "Just please never joke in front of Plastic Man." Dick smiled and waved a salute in agreement. He rushed out of the room relieved to be walking out in one piece. He laughed to himself. Who would of thought that Plas was the teammate that scared the mighty Wonder Woman the most?


End file.
